Thoughts on life

I love the stars. In Lima we could never see the stars because it was always cloudy and I never realized how much of a void that left in the night until I would travel somewhere where we could see them and the beauty just blew my mind away. It's kind of like thunderstorms, the awesome power of God just radiates from these natural wonders.

On a totally different subject why is it that we care about things when it doesn't make sense? I am so nervous about putting my two weeks notice into work but when I really stop and think about it the worst that can happen is that they all get really mad and say that I can never come back there to work again. I wasn't planning on ever going back there to work again anyway. I am not fond of my job, the people yes but the actual work I do....no. So why do I feel this horrid sense of guilt for leaving?

I really need to start journaling again, I quit when I got back from Peru, but how else will I remember that one night I thought about stars and unfound obligations in the same thought process.

Scared silly

You know that feeling where you are so scared and excited at the same time that all you really want to do is throw up? That's what I feel right now as I try a figure out how I will put a two weeks notice into a company that I've only been at for two weeks.

Inspired but tired

So I'm moving to NC. I guess now we know how long I last in an 8-5 I'm a little bit scared and I have no clue how everything is going to work out, but I know it will. It was all because of a random post on Megan Deluca's website. And now in a couple of weeks I will be NC bound. I have wanted to move back for ten years now....now it's really going to happen. Crazy. I don't reallyt know how to feel about everything yet, and I don't know how to break it to my boss that I will no longer be working there. It's just a little bit scary, but then again maybe this move is what God was preparing me for in Peru, I mean after taking off to a south american country for three months moving five hours away shouldn't be a bog deal. Right? I am beat from working so much and having no home. Can I really move in just a couple of weeks? I guess we're going to find out.

One week later

How long will I last in an 8-5? that is the question of the day. So far everything has been going well and I do enjoy the job. However, (there is always a however isn't there?) if you have never worked in the staffing industry then you cannot truly understand what it means to be working with the very bottom of the employee pool. Now I don't want to stereotype because I have dealt with some intelligent people who just have a hard time finding work, but in general these people come to us because they have nowhere else to go. That makes work very discouraging when you explain to somebody how a multiple choice test works step-by-step and they still don't get it.

As far as personal life....I am going to make an offer on a car today so hopefully I won't have to drive my dad's gas guzzling truck anymore. On the down side though I still have a horrible cough that I got in Peru, it's been a month now and it hasn't gotten better. I also have no insurance to go to the doctor's. I know somebody with amoxocilin who said they could get me a ten day dose so hopefully that works out and I can start breathing again...it's hard to look professional while coughing up a lung.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming

What a crazy as crap week. I have been offered a home and an 8-5 job that actually pertains to my major and gives me benefits. Now I just need to find a car within the next twelve hours or so but the insurance doesn't come through until like Wednesday. I don't doubt that God will take care of me, but He sure is cutting it close this time. I just keep telling myself that everything will be okay...I have no idea how but it will. I know it will. I won't panic or freak out. I will not cry. It will all be juuuuuust fine......God I need You!

Home....

It's good to be home after three months in Peru, it's amazing how it seemed like I had lived there for years and now it already feels like a dream.

But now I am faced with the all pressing question of what to do with my life. I have graduated school, I went on my great post graduate adventure that everybody should experience, and now what? I have three old bosses trying to hire me back, how do I tell them I don't want to work for them if I have nothing else lined up? Where do I go now? I was hoping for answers to these very questions on my trip and they just never came. If anything I have more questions now than before. Where does God want me and what does He want me to do when I get there? I know He will show me if I only listen carefully. That being said I should be seeking God harder now than ever before. So why is my Bible still in the suitcase when I've been home for two whole days? Was our summer bond that fragile that the mere re-entrance into my old life style was enough to shatter it? I think not. I'm a little bit anxious about what the future may hold, but I have no reason to be, He has already taught me that numerous times. So here we go jumping off the deep end, let's see how well His little girl learned how to swim this summer.