Joy...

Here is just a random list of things that bring joy to my face.....

Getting to the bakery just in time to get the last blueberry doughnut, dancing like a crazy person to "Captain Kidd" in my living room at 2am, working a banquet and taking home four filet mignons and five pieces of Mahi Mahi for FREE!!! Talk about some awesome leftovers!! Finding my judo shirt for the competition just as I'm walking out the door after cleaning out my whole car and tearing apart my room looking for it, that muscle in the back of my arm that didn't exist four weeks ago, irish dancing barefoot in my office, aaaannnnd carrot cake with no raisins

Craziness!!!!

Man I love my life. It's soooooo insane but it's so wonderfully beautifully amazing. God throws so many things out there and I just can't wait to see where I end up! Peru maybe Raleigh maybe...who the heck knows!!!! tuesday I was working a mundane 9-5 and now I have three maybe fourish jobs to replace it and somehow it will all work out.

My first day at work at the new "office" was awesome!!!!! I'm doing paperwork for a couple that owns Miller's where I used to wait tables. So Dedra(the wife) left me and Scottie at the house all day to work...wanna know what we actually got done? almost nothing!!! we messed with the internet connection to make it go faster....then we tested it by downloading movies...then we got lunch and a 6 pack of wine coolers did payroll paid some bills, and threw a bunch of papers into a drawer so it looked like we actually worked. Oh yeah the first hour was designated play with the three dogs time. I know everyday won't be like that but it was such a relief!!!! I love Scottie and Dedra they are the coolest people I've ever worked for and loyal to their employees like nothing else!!!! God bless this whole broken beautiful world and all the people in it!!!!

Relationships...

Does everything hinge on making amends?
Will he ever forgive me?
Can I ever forgive him?
Is it all her fault or is it mine?
Mercy and justice
where's the line?
Define unconditional
and what is true love
and how do you express it on Earth?
What does it mean to love my brother?
Who is my brother? And does he count?
I know she does, but how do I love?
God please help me out.
My head's starting to spin Lord,
when does this end Lord?
Maybe we're all just broken.

Learning new things...

I think it's important to learn new things everyday. Today I learned that dad does not have an endless supply of food like I had thought. And also never put a blob of peanut butter and several different kinds of cheez wiz on a saltine cracker and stick the whole thing in your mouth...I think that counts as a suicide attempt. And the last thing I learned today is to never burn bridges with friends that wait tables or manage kitchens, and don't be too proud to pull the puppy face on them when you get hungry and poor enough.