Passion and.....well.....passion

Ever wonder about the random turns our lives take? How did we all end up the way we did and why do some people spiral off the edge and others hold fast and many of us settle some where in the middle. And why is one person's "middle ground" so different from anothers and what about....what about everything.

It's just interesting that's all I'm saying we begin with amazing plans and unstoppable desires, so how do we get off track? or are we really on track and the original plan was off?

I have certain things that I cannot talk about and sit still at the same time. They excite and energize me just to think about them. I love photography, passionately, I love seeing the photos as I look at the world before I even hold the camera up to my eye. I love the sound of the shutter especially on a time exposure, I love the feel and weight of the camera in my hand, I love the negatives held up to the light and the finished work with all it's beautiful imperfections that remind me that I have a long way to go but that at least I'm moving. When I talk about it my face lights up my eyes dance and my heart races.

This is love.

But that being said...I have a camera, and yet I don't shoot....why?

I believe I am scared. To commit completely, let go of the edge, and throw myself (Kiai and all) wholeheartedly into something that I love that much only to have it fall through for some reason. As long as I am only devoting myself to a profession I half care about then it's okay if it doesn't work out. No broken hearts, no shattered dreams just a shrug, oh well, let's move on.

But what, hypothetically speaking, would happen if I just went for it. Stopped doing the sure thing and just jumped. What would happen?